LovelynBored's one year anniversary celebrating with all of our fellow bloggers, supporters, and girl bosses. Enjoy! Thank you guys so much for the support, and we hope to keep bringing you guys quality/honest content.
LovelynBored's one year anniversary celebrating with all of our fellow bloggers, supporters, and girl bosses. Enjoy! Thank you guys so much for the support, and we hope to keep bringing you guys quality/honest content.
Watch what we have been up to, and stay tuned for what is to come next.
Our take on body positivity.
All of my life, my family told me that I was special. Being the only child growing up in the house, my parents always treated me like the golden child. The winning ticket. The special priority. All of that. Anyways, what do you do if all your life you’ve been living as if you were different, and then you find yourself in a situation where it feels like everyone is just like you? It happened twice, the feeling of being small. And it really sucked. The first, was when I was in Los Angeles, the city of Angels. Here I was, a singer/songwriter (with an impeccable sense of style if I c ould say so myself) and all that surrounded me were more singer/songwriters… it all happened in a second of a moment, I wanted to start hyperventilating. I seriously felt so small! As if my “special” became void. I was in my first major course class and it happened again. That feeling of incompetence. As the teacher started asking each student what they wanted to do in their careers, everyone started sounding repetitive, as if we were all going to be applying for the same job. I went home that night and started crying, because how am is still supposed to be so special if there seems like there is nothing special about me.
So… I wanted to write this to help anyone else out there who decided to follow their passion but are stuck in a place where they lose themselves and their special because of lack of truly knowing themselves.
1. Know Yourself
If you do not truly understand who you are, then you are capable of falling for anything. I had to come to a point where I didn’t tag who I was to what everyone else was saying about me. If it was good or bad, I had to realize who I was for myself.
2. Surround yourself with people who are on your team
One of the biggest blessings I have is my friends. No matter where I am located, I know I can always call one of them. I know that they will always have encouraging words for me and support me in all my endeavors.
3. What is the IT Factor?
What is it that makes you special? Figure out what it is, what you were CALLED to do. There is literally only one person like you on this planet, and in this universe. Spending quiet time with yourself, and asking the deep questions about your life and your purpose is going to set you apart. And then when you figure IT out, you keep working and you never stop. You can’t sit on your purpose for too long. J.Cole said something that was super powerful in one of his songs. “Even If you let them kill your dreams, it will haunt you.” If you don’t follow that strong calling on your life, then what you “could have been” will always haunt you. There are going to be so many people that will be in the same field as you YOUR WHOLE LIFE! However “Many are called. But few are chosen” … and that is determined by your work ethic.
When it all becomes way too much to handle. If it seems as if you feel lost or as if you don’t have anyone around, you gotta pray. It isn’t going to always be easy, but it will get better in the end.
I cut my hair to find me again. For my growth. For my sanity. For me solely. I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to do it either. I didn’t want the noise and opinions of others to stunt my growth or make me second guess what was right for me. A lot of people tell me, “You seem to have it together, you seem to know who you are.” For the most part I can say yes I’ve always had a stronger grasp on who I was than most people at my age; although, there were aspects of me that got really lost for a minute. For me, cutting my hair made me confront who I really am. I felt like I could have a clean slate, and a chance to gain back what I lost. Having my hair cut so short made me really sit back, and assess what was going on inside, because it wasn’t much to distract me from on the outside anymore. We put so much time, and value into our looks, and how we are perceived on the internet that we forget what’s reality. I was hiding behind filters, makeup, hair, even down to the way I spoke on snapchat. I hadn’t been my complete self for almost an entire year, and it was starting to bring me real discomfort and sadness. Your face and hair are the first thing people see when they look at you. It’s not your hands, it’s not your shoes, it’s your face. What makes us “attractive”,” noticeable” or “unique”. It was more than just my hair though. I was trying to hide my insecurities. I was trying to be someone I’m not for someone who didn’t want me anymore, and who I felt wanted something totally different to begin with. While I tried so hard to be that other person, in turn I lost the core of me. Maybe if I wore my hair this way, and fixed my chin that way for a selfie he would notice. Maybe if I did or said certain things he would notice. Maybe he would see me and say “Damn, I want you back.” I was trying to be so much like something I wasn’t to get someone back who wasn’t deserving of me in the first place. In my excerpt, “About Me” I said that I sometimes get lost in the wind, and always seem to find my way... Well I’m tired of being lost in the wind, and I don’t have to be. I’m tired of feeling like I have to be a little bit more quiet, a little less so awake, a little less than who I am. You know, a little less of a “strong black woman”. I’m not hiding anymore. I’m not covering up. I’m showing me in every way that I am. That is a tomboy. That is sexy. That is mysterious. That is loving. That is feisty and goofy. I’ll never allow myself to get so low to the point where I hate a woman I don’t even know because of a person who in the end didn’t truly value me or my time. I know that’s not the woman I am, and that’s not the woman I am going to be. I also want to make it clear that there is no one way to be a woman. Women are the epitome of diverse and everything that is beautiful. So, if I decide I want to wear something a little less revealing and a little baggy, I should be able to do that without being questioned about my sexuality. Or if I want to show cleavage, then I should be able to do that without being questioned if I have respect for myself or not. Believe it or not style, hair, the color of someone’s nails is not exclusive to a specific gender. I love being a woman. I love everything about what being a woman stands for, and I don’t think we should be pinned to a specific box because of what we wear or what hairstyle we have. I love dressing it up and making it real, but I also love to be in a hoodie or something a little more comfortable. I say all of this to say, that whatever or whoever you are, “be that”. Be that in the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you dress, be that. Don’t let someone else define you or get in the way of finding who you are. I just got tired of feeling like I have to conform for people or for a society that doesn’t even give a fuck about my well being. I'm not here to make you guys think that I'm hurt or that one person broke me down. I didn’t know myself before the relationship I was in, and I just made it worse when I decided to stay in something that I knew should have ended a lot sooner than it did. I'm stronger than I ever have been before, and I recognize my power, and what my power means to me. Cutting your hair doesn’t all of a sudden set you free from the past or free you from your problems (even though it does feel liberating as fuck). I had to find ways outside of a haircut to find my peace of mind. So, I read, write, meditate, literally delete, and block anything that doesn’t bring me joy. Finding who you really want to be in this world is an everyday process. I feel like right now in my life, it’s such an odd and beautiful time, but everything I do, and everything I go through has been or will be completely worth it. Really I’m just here to say that:
1. Nothing is as it seems.
2. I am a work in progress and every day I look to love the ones who love me, and even the ones who don’t.
3. That loving yourself first and protecting your peace is the greatest service you can do for yourself.
So, if you were wondering, these were the reasons I cut my hair.
For this Breaks, we had the pleasure of sitting down with members from Denton’s very own, OG Garden. We discussed music, their inspiration, and the music industry. OG Garden is a local band who aspire to be a dope collective in the industry. The band members include Joey Listrom on keys, Kurtis Shaffer on saxophone, Byron Crenshaw on bass, Hunter Strasser on guitar/pad, Micah Ritchie on drums, and Troy Garrick as the vocalist; however, due to certain circumstances, we were only able to speak with Joey, Kurtis, and Byron about their journey. All of them being music majors at UNT, they each have a unique passion for their craft and want to broaden their musical horizons and develop a unique sound. The name of any collective in music can explain a lot about their purpose/foundation. When asked about their clever name OG Garden, they expressed it was inspired by the Oriental Garden restaurant they all enjoy. This being the foundation of their name reflects that they all are contributors to ideas, which you can compare that to the collaboration of The Roots. All of them equally coming from musical backgrounds has sustained a curiosity for new sounds. They all stated that they frequently listen to new or revisit old music for their general knowledge on where the future of music is headed. A couple of names they mentioned in their most recent plays are urban artists like singer Solange, band Porches, and producer moods. We also discussed if they feel any doubts within pursuing music and they all expressed different things yet understood the purpose of what they do is bigger than them. One thing that certainly resonated with our sit down was their strong belief that the industry still has a place for developing bands. There are a lot of innovative things taking place with electronic music, and live instruments interacting with one another. These two factors encompass a shared excitement between all the musicians on what the future holds. Be on the lookout for an amazing EP coming in late January and a website reflecting everything about the OG Garden’s aesthetic.
Lovely & Bored travels around the city with OG Garden, see what places we visited down below!
Often following your dreams can be scary and I find that people miss out on their opportunities because they either let the fear get in the way, or they simply don’t want it enough. We were able to have an honest conversation with Kal Banx, music producer and CEO of TrapHouse Elite about what it means to find your dreams. The main things I received from Kal's conversation is the power of the internet, trusting your dopeness, and working within your circle. The internet is fast paced, and simply being consistent in posting your craft will attract the big names to you than you pursuing them. The level of relevance our generation shares the companies want, because their old and washed out. They want what we have to say, because we're trendy and in the times. Building with your friends is major key, because you know one another's work ethic. The loyalty is never questioned, and it's harder to place trust to people in the industry. You have to know that what you’re doing is meaningful and believe wholeheartedly in your vision. Another topic we discussed was sacrifice. We don’t want to sacrifice some things, but in order to get what we want, you have to give up something. Whether that be time, money, sleep, whatever that may be, some things have to be cut out in order to have something beautiful grow. Life will give us curveballs and it’s our choice to do what we will with them. Kal also made a another great point in saying “You don’t have to be dead set on one type of way to get out your creativity.” Meaning, if something doesn’t go as planned, or you think life is going to go one way and it goes the other, don’t give up completely on that path. Sometimes you just have to find a different avenue to get out your visions and dreams. So, with all that to say I hope you're inspired with our conversation with Kal and that it furthers your thinking.
We said this blog was going to be about honesty, and giving you guys what we really think. So, to keep it a buck, being broke sucks. With what we show you guys on social media you would think that we are two girls who do whatever we want, and have all the money to do so. Which for the most part is false. We just know how to make things work for us. Being in college is funny because for the most part we are all broke, and we all get on twitter and try to flex for each other to make it seem like we all go it. I’m here to let you know that it’s all fake, and I’m a master at finessing the system. Okay, so it’s not all just finesse, but I will say that budgeting is a huge part of how I survive. It’s all a matter of what you want to spend your money on, and are you willing to sacrifice some things for what you really want. A trip to LA is something I wanted to do, and I made it happen for myself, but I had to sacrifice some things. Going out with friends, buying a pair of shoes, cutting back on a meal.. Or two. Though in the end it was all worth it. I’m not saying starve, but figure out what is important to you, make it a goal, and see it through no matter how dim it might look.
A couple of weeks ago I found myself extremely frustrated with my progress, and feeling stagnant. If you know L&B that's not an emotion we take kind of. So, I started to unravel my emotions, and why I'm feeling this why because i'm certainly doing what I can. Through conversations, and thoughts I realized it's because I haven't been investing enough of my money. Listen folks, money is the key. It's not something you should praise, but just like when you transition into being an adult. You know if you break something you pay for it, so you care for something that much more. I'm realizing that's the type of care we should have for our craft, and so with that being said... I'm trying to make coins into dollars. So in turn when I realized I needed to put my money where my mom mouth is... that hoe got ate... quickly. But, hey you make money to spend it, and I just had the time of my life in LA. Experiences will always be there, but money comes and goes. Don't be afraid to struggle, it's good resistance. I'm bougie tho... So, I'm still learning that concept.
We've had many questions as to how do we know about certain music, places, down to how to edit some of our picture. Honestly most of it is word of mouth or we just really stay up to date on what's new and seek out these things ourselves. Though to make it easier for you guys, we thought we would give you all some essential apps that you should have on your phone.
VSCO is a photography app that offers various features to tweak, and increase the quality of your photos. If you're into social media, and you don't have money for equipment this app will have your photos looking A1. They always offer extra edits for free, and once you master this your social media content will definitely have a boost.
Calligraphy is pretty popular these days, and this app basically sets a blank canvas in which you can write anything you like. They give you an option to save it, and you can use it for a pretty cool branding idea or something quick and fun.
Okay so if you're like me you can go go a movie, or be in someone's car and here the most bomb song, but have too much pride to ask what song it is? Well this app is for you. Some phones have it by default, but it basically identifies any song by a click of a button. So, quit wasting your time on google typing 90% of the lyrics (that you can remember) with no luck, and get Shazam!
Evernote would be more like your word document combined Iphone notes. It’s the perfect tool that lets you take notes, create to-do lists, and save things you find from the internet. If you’re the type of person who is constantly on their computer, and doesn’t usually use a notepad to take notes, then Evernote is most likely going to be your best friend.
Of course most of you know what Uber is, and if you don’t, then you late lol. If you're just looking for a quick ride to the 7-Eleven, your boos house, or you had a really good time in downtown and didn’t bring a DD, Uber is probably your best option. It's super convenient if you're in a foreign town and you and you are constantly moving around. You might even luck up and get a driver who passes you the AUX.
Being that we are both your typical broke college students who stay looking for new things to eat, see, or looking for a new adventure, GroupOn usually can help us find something at a affordable price. Groupon's whole thing is to be able to bring the deals directly to you for an affordable price. Most of their deals come with a 50-70% discount and are usually always something to look forward to.
As much as we love to use Lovely&Bored as an avenue to express ourselves, sometimes messages are portrayed best from others. One thing Lovely&Bored values is showcasing artistic expression in all forms. In a world where you can easily use someone for their talent, and give no credit we have both witnessed all these individuals at work, and know they are true to their craft. Since I’m sure by this time we’ve either bored you (LOL) or you consider us lovely, we decided to show you guys some talented individuals (and yes they do charge. Cheapskates)
We met designer B.Simone at INVADE and we instantly fell in love with her style. Her knee high boots, LBD, two top knot buns and her hand made “Diablo” bag is what caught our attention. B.Simone’s idea for her brand is to have an upscale feel while still having her clothes be affordable. “Just because you are not able to afford something, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to be well dressed.” She makes clothing for people who want to stand out, for a unique style. She spoke to us a little about her plans to open up her own store and how she want to see Dallas become a place for fashion. “It's hard trying to get out here when you're not around everyone else. Its really hard to stand out when you’re in a room doing the same thing as everyone else. Everyone in LA or New York wants to be a model or designer, but at the same time I know I might not be able to accomplish all my goals by staying in Dallas.” If you’re ever looking to SLAY in your own WAY, don’t hesitate to reach out to Ms. Simone!
Merch page: bsimonethebrand
At only 18 years old Ciara has certainly made her own wave in the videography and cinematography realm. We were both really shocked when she told us that she initially started by making and editing her own skating videos in the 7th grade, then slowly transitioned into filming and directing small movies. In a very male dominated world, she makes it known that it can still be a womans game. From the choice of music, the angles, to the effects, everything she does is set apart from the norm. She has been featured on several blogs like New Premiere Dallas, Say Cheese, and many more. In 2014 her short film “YOUTH” was screened at an all American High School film festival in New York City and this year her films “It’s All In The Cosmos” and “Enter the Depth” have been accepted into the festival as well. She also is a semi-finalist in Hollywood Cine Fest in Los Angeles. I have been able to see Ciara work in her element and she’s really a beast at her craft. Her personality definitely shines through her work and we love her humble spirit “My biggest piece of advice is to keep doing it, keep working on your style, and keep believing that you can make it.”
Visual site: ciaraboniface.com
“I’m a mogul in the making, because I have an interest in a lot of things meaning I’m not just sitting at one particular career” was the best and most accurate way Jaida could describe herself. Her interests vary in things such as producing, website design, print content, and photography/video. She originally started with photography in the 7th grade in her film classes. When she became serious about photos about a year ago, she was sold on pursuing media as her career. Along with her full school load, she has done social media marketing for North Texas Now here at the University of North Texas gaining them an influx of social media presence on Facebook. As she transitioned into learning her love for social media, she is currently working with a magazine named Wavelength, as well as College Fashionista covering the public relations, social media, and marketing side of things. Her purpose is more so the artistry in terms of making a vision come alive and capturing the sweet moments in life. Get connected with her if have interest in camera work, film, site design, or anything. Don’t forget she’s mogul, like a chameleon taking on different faces.
In the summertime, still in the beginning stages of Lovely&Bored, we were invited to an event called INVADE to film, and network. We were both excited, because we felt we were being taken serious, and given a great opportunity. Although the event was extremely resourceful to get connected, we both found ourselves leaving very spiritually encouraged, and empowered to walk in our callings. If you’re wondering who facilitated this event her name is Destiny Davis. We got the pleasure of meeting her at the event, and her positivity was simply amazing. She attends Stephen F Austin University along with her committee of women who help put this event on. The event itself has taken on plenty different atmospheres such as Deep Ellum, a coffee shop, skating rink, and a museum. The purpose of the event is to give people an atmosphere to experience God outside of the traditional four church walls. It is an avenue to reach people her age in a conventional way, and to express the need for community. “God is the guiding light of "INVADE” she expressed that the team/vision was never meant to glorify herself, but to set up simply a space and watch God show out. The future is bright for her, and we look forward to something possibly on the horizon to celebrate New Years, so be on the look out! Reach out to her if you ever need help with event coordinating, style, even prayers.
So far on our journey with Lovely&Bored, we have been blessed to come across many different types of people, personalities, and businesses. Though to be quite frank with you guys, not all business we have encountered has been good business. Of course we all know that all business might not be good business, but often times we forget that whenever you’re trying to get someone to buy into your idea, the things you do or say can essentially can be a reflection of how you run your business. We have had many conversations with each other about this and we feel like it's time for us young adults to step up. We aren’t here to tell you guys how to run your brand or business, but there are some things that need to be addressed. So here are only five different ways that we thought were simple and could improve your way of doing business with someone:
This is key in making sure you show someone you value them for what they do for you. In this generation where a lot of things are freely given, we must still understand no one has to do anything for you. Time is the most valuable thing we have as human beings and it's a big deal for someone to give that to you. As much as we don't want to admit it if we are late, we are considering what we do with that person not as important. So, always be grateful for the time people give.
There are a lot of mannerisms we've abandoned in business, because we are a very leisure culture. This is why possessing things such as politeness is a guarantee for you to stand out in your business endeavors. Honor shouldn't only go to people who have something to give you, it should go to anyone who benefits society. Which is all of us.
If you know your brand, and you know that where you're headed doesn't parallel with someone who wants to do business... Don't do it. This kind of ties back around to "not all business is good business". You want to make sure everything you’re connected to correlates with where you're headed. I know we all love to seem busy, but make sure you're busy with the things you actually want to be busy with. Don't fill yourself up with random projects with people just to say you're doing it. To encompass, this just means love everything you do.
A hi/bye, a friend of a friend, works in the craziest ways. In the times we live in we're accustomed to socializing on social media, but not greeting one another in person. That is honestly a lack of wanting success, because if you want to be successful you want to interact with anyone you come across. I know at times we may not be ready to talk business all the time, but swallow your lack of comfortability to make that connection for the long run.
Simple. Be very well-rounded when it comes to the general public. Always be willing to dish out compliments. This is a tool I've seen most affective, because it leaves a mark, but doesn't make you commit to small talk all the time. Follow up on something someone told you the last time you spoke, because it shows you care and that you were listening to them. Encourage people in their doubts, we're in college, when we encounter one another we're bound to open up, speak against their doubts. I promise you they will leave the conversation feeing encourag
What is transparency? Some of us don’t like to be transparent because it might bring up things that make us uncomfortable. It forces us to be vulnerable and give up pieces of ourselves that we might not have fully assessed. Being someone who can be open and share what they feel is sometimes scary to most. I know for myself it is always alarming or interesting when someone opens up so easy because it feels like they expect me to give all of my secrets too, but that’s not how it works for me. I seem to always end up sharing with the wrong person. So, how do become transparent without giving up all of your secrets? How do you know when someone is being genuine with you? I guess the biggest thing is that we will never actually know. You just have to give yourself in hopes that what you say isn’t falling on deaf ears. That’s the beauty of being human, you just never know. For me, practicing transparency boils down to trusting that people are still genuine and really just going with it, as scary as that sounds.
Transparency rewards you every time. As a prize is to be fought for, truth is meant to be tussled with as well. Truth forces you to climb past yourself, and see the prize at hand, which is freedom. There is power in your truth and you liberate yourself. I would say something that occurs a lot when we refuse to be transparent is a loss or awkwardness in a lot of our relationships. A lot of the relationships we have either end on a discontinued note, or there was a lot of things left unsaid. The truth also holds you accountable this is something we saw during the creation of lovely and bored. We had multiple meetings where we simply couldn’t describe our feelings on life, but essentially it was stagnancy. We addressed the truth, and it kept us accountable even when we didn’t want it to. Our plans would wake me up in the middle of the night, because I just knew I had to get moving. So, let truth do its work in you, and watch your life blossom in beautiful ways.
Living life stagnant, okay, well lets define what this means to be quote unquote stagnant. Personally, I feel as though being stagnant can be masked by a series of things. Generally we are all dreamers we stopped discussing tea, and started discussing ideas. We are proud of that, and proud that maybe we have made a change in friends/partner/lifestyle/hobbies. But, in fact at times business can mask stagnancy. When you define what is you want to pursue, and measuring the distance you have gone within that. It may not measure up to what you had hoped. This may be true for some, because you haven’t challenged your mind to think outside of your mundane life. Majority of things are mental before they occur in your life, and the way we have accustomed ourselves to think is maybe this is how life is meant to be.
Something that we both share in common is the yearning for more out of life. A lot of the time we become bored with the every day mundane activities of getting up, going to school, work, and a couple of meetings here and there, but we forget that life has a lot more to offer you. Exploring is something that is a huge part of how I expand my mind to think bigger, and think outside of myself. Taking trips to the local markets, museums, parks, tattoo shops has expanded my mind to go out on a whim and trust myself. Everyday we have the choice to get up and make the day what we want. Every day I get up and chose to go forward, seek, and want more out of life. The choice is always ours, and its up to you to decide where you want life to take you.